There was a time that I found it extremely challenging to talk to people. I have never been good at small talk and it felt like every time I opened my mouth, I said something stupid.
It could be face to face, on the phone, voicemail, in a virtual meeting or in class. If people were listening to me, I was going to say something so stupid that people would think I was an idiot and not take me seriously. It was paralyzing at times and I would replay the conversation or the message over and over in my head, further convincing myself that I, indeed, was unintelligible and should not be talking.
But, inevitably, someone would ask me a question and wait for me to answer. Everyone was waiting, so I answered it as directly as possible and stopped. Done. Now please stop looking at me and go on to that person who is so much better at talking, thank you.
So I did what anyone in my situation would do. I took a job lecturing a two and a half hour weekly class at a local university. That’s right. I threw myself into the fire. The good news was that it was in my field, which is classical music. The bad news? I had to create the lectures and everything that went with them….and I had to talk to people who were looking at me. Talk about flames licking at my heels!
As the years passed, I learned to stop listening to myself and start paying attention to the love I had for what I was teaching. Sure, I talked myself into corners. I still do. And yet I learned that what Maya Angelou said was true: ” I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel” At the end of every semester for the last decade, a student has come up to me, thanked me for introducing him or her to something that they enjoyed learning about (it often comes down to classical guitar) and say something really positive about the energy I bring in. I love what I do and I am so glad I can now let those students’ comments be what I play over and over again.
Life Coaching has now brought me to a new and wonderful phase of sharing and teaching and people looking at me. It’s a new fire to dance in and I absolutely love it.
Life is for living and words are easy when you can let go of the need for them to speak for you.
Vanderslice Coaching 